This post will concern a variety of topics, heads up! Fair warning: I will talk about lenses, music, and vulnerability.
First up are lenses: I want a macro. I want a macro lens SO badly. However, they are ridiculously expensive and so I must pine for now. I have my eye on the Nikon 105mm. Since I have a large interest in macro photography, I feel like I need to go for the best of the best rather than settle for an off-brand.
The only alternative I'm considering until I can afford the 105 is going for the lens babies:
To be fair, I kinda want to try them out for funsies anyways since they have such cool range of lenses! The whole tilt thing and the ability to cut the field of focus is pretty neat and I would love to play. The control freak is the one that I have my eye on:
This is less than half the price of the 105 and therefore much more in my range! It also just seems like a really neat concept. If you bother to check out the site, be sure to look at the gallery since I think that the images are well worth seeing. Although I keep going back and forth since I feel like maybe I should just save up and buy the 105 that I really want instead of just spending money on something I kinda want... As you can probably tell, I'm pretty indecisive especially when such a large amount of money is involved. I just hate trying to close in on something with my 18-55, 50, or even my telephoto. It's just not the same as being able to get right up close and really get sharp detail!
Anyway, I know I didn't mention this in my list but I just wanted to say that I am officially a stock investor! I feel so grown up... I've been dithering for about 2 years and so finally, I just went ahead and plunged right in. It's a scary feeling but I hope that I've made the best possible decisions...
Music:
The way I operate is that I get obsessed with certain songs and play them over and over and over and over again (times about a thousand). I then move on and forget about them. Lately (as in the last year), I've been trying to create playlists on youtube that will allow me to remember and replay old favourites. For those who are curious about my spelling, when I was little in India, I used to spell everything with 'u', e.g. harbour, colour, etc, and then I moved the states and took away the 'u' and now that I'm working in Hong Kong the 'u' has returned since I don't want to mess the little kiddies up! (I work as an English tutor for those that didn't know)
The thing about the music that I love is that they always strike a chord with me. They can bring back memories of specific moments, the singers' voices can be powerful, or the background can really impact me. I listen to everything and so the songs that stick can be really random. Here are three songs that I have played on repeat for the past few weeks:
Sanctuary
The first two are both songs by Adele. For those who haven't heard of her, I hope that you have just had your mind blown. I agree with the commentator for her song "Someone like you" because she has such an amazing voice that she doesn't need theatrics to be able to hold a crowd. For "Rolling in the Deep" I really hope that someday I will be able to play in a room full of flour... The third song is a trance song that really picks up around 1:14 and again at 2:00. The girl is throwaway for me, it's the background beat and song that are phenomenal. Gareth Emery is amazing, right up there with Tiesto and Armin. When songs hit me, I really feel like I can do anything. I know this sounds cheesy but whenever I have been in a time crunch for studying for exams or completely stuck on something to write, if I have a good tune on, all of the obstacles seem to melt away. I don't know if other people experience music like this, but it's how I feel.
Recently, my dad started sending me these emails from a friend of my grandma's whose son was dying of cancer. I know it's not my place to post this but I feel that I am making it anonymous and that it should be shared because of how powerful it is. Here is a letter from the father to the son who was a musician:
For sometime now, as I have aged, I have considered, what legacy do we leave behind?
You had a friend, who at a very young age was struck down by a lightning bolt. He, in his short life, left but a small imprint except on his few friends and family and little works.
I , when I was very young had a playmate, Donald who lived but two blocks away and later for a few years were class mates. He was a brilliant boy and, so judged by the authorities, was advanced to the next class, however since we were still neighbors we remained close. We started a newspaper when in the third grade as co editors. I was in production and made a gelatin based ditto plate for printing and supplied my father’s typewriter to do the copy stencil. We both wrote the news of the two grades and drew the cartoons and Don made up the quizzes, the winner of which would receive a free paper the next week.
By the time we were in High School, Don moved on to Lincoln but we didn’t loose track. When the war began, he had already entered the University, and we both envisioned a marvelous career for him whatever course it took. He could have gone to officer’s school but insisted on joining the Air Corps as a tail gunner, at the air center in Omaha. He went on to fly and was shot down over Fogia in the invasion of Italy. He is remembered now, only by me and the remainder of his family who are now dead, and perhaps the girl friend he left behind in Lincoln , if she is still alive.
In some , life is short with little or no legacy. In others, the only legacy is genetic in offspring or the family name; where, to be passed down, requires a family unity and storytelling or a written history. Memory, only is a short term, and most fortunes are usually gone in a generation. My legacy of family name will go, except for Alosha, who is adopted.
My work as a physician will be remembered only briefly. Most of the patients I saved or lives made better, are dead now, and their children who remember me, will soon be.
My written work, The Chronicles, will never be read in its entirety, and only in reference by a few, perhaps 200 over the years.
Yet, with this miniscule product, I am satisfied with what I have produced. During my time here, I have pretty much accomplished more than what I had envisioned.
Now we come to you, and your present predicament.
I recognize that you had just hit your peak, not in financial reward, nor professional acclaim, but in creative and performance ability. If it advances no further, I feel that your legacy is far greater and longer lasting than mine, and possibly the rest of our family and your classmates. Your songs will live on and there will continue to be others to sing and play them.
You are, and always will be a success, with an enviable legacy.
You are loved.
Dad
This brings me to the final point: vulnerability. As I mentioned in my last post, I have lately become quite obsessed with this one girl's 365 day photography project. As I have seen more and more of her images, I have asked myself: why? Why is she so fascinating to watch?
I think I have finally figured it out. True artists really put something of themselves out "there", into the world. They don't hold back and they aren't afraid of what others think or if they are, they are able to push that fear away. She isn't afraid of being "soulful" or letting complete strangers into her life in an uncontrolled medium. Yes, she is dictating what goes up on the site but there are many of her photos that are untouched by post-production and that are mundane. I am a very open and friendly person, but I am this way IN PERSON. Not online. Up until this point, this blog has been pretty stale in terms of emotion. Plenty of pictures, plenty of little stories, PLENTY of lens and camera talk, but that's it. I feel like for me to be able to advance as a photographer, as a writer, I need to be willing to open up. I think this will be a belated new year's resolution: put myself out on the limb more.
This is especially the case with photography since I am petrified of asking people if I can take their picture or if I can take a picture of their surroundings. I absolutely hate confrontation so I usually stay in the fringes and sneak photos whenever I can. If I am caught, I feign innocence and quickly aim elsewhere. I need to get over this and I have already begun trying. Just today I actually asked this old man if I could take pictures of these dried flying lizard things outside of his shop and he said yes! Here is a photo:
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| Apparently these are good for coughs? |
Also, I submitted an application for a travel writing scholarship and here is the link for anyone who wants to read it:
I was a bit trigger happy on this one and submitted it way early! The competition doesn't actually end til tomorrow and then I have to wait until April 28 to find out if my life will change... I am not a patient person and the waiting is killing me!
Well, that's it for now! Sorry this is so long, I promise the next one will have more photos =)
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